Chances Are
by Little Donkey
Summary: Ritsu watches over eight memories. Mio dismisses them.
1. Yin

**Title**: Chances are**  
Rating**: T**  
Summary**: Ritsu watches over eight memories. Mio dismisses them.**  
Chapters**: 2**  
Notes**: Just trying out a different writing style. : 3 Markus Zusak is my idol.

Oh and happy birthday, Mio.

ooooo

_Let the alarm chime  
Hear me breathe again before you hurry home  
Tell me one last time  
Just wonder if this love is true like your poem_

1.

"You have such pretty hair!"

The little girl cowers and Ritsu, like any other enthralled child at her age, takes that as encouragement.

"Can I touch it?"

The little girl stands up—_oh, she's taller than me, _Ritsu thinks—and quickly leaves the classroom. Ritsu's second thought is, _Why is she crying?_

"Ricchan's a bully!" one of her friends exclaims. "She made her cry!"

Ritsu spins around with the look of a betrayed victim. "I did not! I only asked if I could touch her hair!"

"You made her cry!" her friend continues to insist.

Ritsu frowns and growls, "You're not my friend anymore."

"Good! You're a bully! I don't wanna be friends with bullies!"

"I'm not a bully!"

"Yes you are!"

The argument disintegrates in coherency and soon there are fists and feet flying about. The teacher steps in and the two children are sent outside to face the wall. The little girl is coaxed back inside with a soft handkerchief.

The next day, Ritsu makes up with her fighter from yesterday. She's lost a friend and has gained a friend, but she wishes for another one. For she is a greedy child.

2.

"Annd I won! And I gotta go. See ya later."

The two boys she was playing against in a game of cards look up with scowls on their faces. They have lost a card each and they are not pleased at how fast their friend has dismissed them. Only a tiny portion of lunchtime has passed and they have not yet eaten. They need to win back their cards, and more, before they can satisfy their hunger.

"C'mon, Tainaka! Two more games."

"I want to play with Mio-chan."

"She just reads books all the time," the other says, "it's boring. Play with us." His voice lowers to a sneer, "Or are you scared of losing?"

"I just won your card, Kato!" Ritsu points out. "And Mio-chan knows how to play cards now. So we're gonna play that."

"Huh? She bought some?"

"Yeah."

"Are you gonna play for keeps?"

Ritsu finds the many questions annoying for they're wasting precious seconds. She leaves them without an answer.

"Mio-chan! I'm back!"

Mio looks up from her cupped hands. "Welcome back, Ricchan."

"Whatcha doing?"

"I was reading the cards," Mio replies, looking back at her hands. "Why don't we play by its rules?"

Mio's question is a valid one. Kids hardly glance at the words in the description boxes. It's the titles and the characters printed on the cards that matter. Card games, to these kids' knowledge, should only involve flipping them around on the ground with another card. It's when a card fairly falls on top of another does the game end.

Ritsu throws a card onto the ground. She squats, then gives out from the stress and kneels. "The rules they give are boring," she states. She pulls out a plastic card from her shirt pocket, her prized flipper, and waits for Mio.

Mio carefully squats, making sure she isn't stepping on anything nasty. She places a card about half a metre away from Ritsu's and uses another card as the flipper. "What kind of game is this?"

Ritsu sticks her tongue out. She's watching Mio's card. It's an uncommon one, like hers. "It's a friendly game."

"I want to try a game for keeps," is the quiet reply.

Ritsu looks up. "Are you sure?"

Mio nods. "Yes."

_Cool, I want that card anyway,_ Ritsu thinks. "Okay then. For keeps. You can go first."

Mio stares at the ground for a moment or two. Then, she reaches out and flips her card towards Ritsu's. It lies on its back again but a dozen centimetres closer.

It's now Ritsu's turn. She picks herself up and shuffles around the two cards, as if calculating which angle she should flip from. She eventually goes back to where she sat and flips her card. Her card joins in with the laziness of the other. Mio's turn, and her card finally tips over to its front.

The cycle continues and soon the cards are about a hand's width from each other. Both cards are hiding their titles and it's Mio's turn again. She flips gently.

Ritsu watches numbly as the card falls on its back. On top of hers.

"I won," Mio murmurs.

Ritsu continues to watch the two cards. It's when Mio's hand hovers over them, about to collect them, does she look up. She wants to demand a re-match. But because she has looked up and has seen the bright smile spread across Mio's face, she doesn't. She still demands, though, for another game.

Several games and a bite of lunch later, Mio and Ritsu walk back to class. Ritsu's carrying the same exact cards she had on her when she left. Usually, this leaves her feeling quite dissatisfied. So she feels a bit odd at the lack of that and looks across her shoulder.

Mio's straightening out the corners of the two cards she's won. She meets Ritsu's eyes and gives an easy smile.

That's the first and last time they play cards.

3.

"We're best friends aren't we?"

Mio's listening to music with her headphones on so she doesn't hear the question. Ritsu throws the magazine she's reading to the ground and stomps over to her. She pulls the headphones back and repeats the question.

After some squabble, Mio asks back, "Does one interrupt a best friend's leisure time?" She answers her own question. "No one but you does that."

Ritsu doesn't know if Mio's avoiding her question or she has answered it. "Does that mean we are?"

"Are what?"

"Best friends."

Mio leans back in her chair with a strange look. "Do you know me?"

"Of course I know you! Why else would I be in your room and—"

"No I meant. Do you actually know me?"

Ritsu doesn't understand the question. She has answered it and yet Mio keeps on repeating it as if she's some kind of idiot. So she lists all the things she knows about Mio. "You're Akiyama Mio. You're in fifth year. Your birthday's on the 15th of Jan so you're younger than me. Oh, and you're a scaredy cat."

Mio's eyes narrow. "You're Tainaka Ritsu. And your blood type is B so you sometimes don't think before you speak. You can be quite irresponsible too."

For some reason, Ritsu's enjoying this. She's grinning. "That's because you're such a perfectionist! So sensitive too. Being A type and all."

"There's nothing wrong in trying to be perfect! At least I'm being serious! You're hardly serious. Especially in music class. Your name doesn't really suit you."

Ritsu's grin wobbles by the last sentence. She straightens her mouth. "Look who's talking!" she cries, "Your name could've had the beauty kanji. But no, it has a rain radical. At least mine is nice, rain woman!"

Mio stares.

Ritsu, who hasn't yet learnt the skill of perception, continues, "So that's why it's been raining all these days." She huffs and falls back onto Mio's bed. "It's because of you, isn't it?"

"Get out."

A chill runs through Ritsu. She cautiously lifts her head. "What?"

Mio's hunched over her desk. She's shaking and clumsily pulling the headphones back into place. "I said get out!"

Or it would've sounded that way if her voice hadn't broken midway.

Ritsu soon finds herself off her backside. Her arms are out and around Mio in seconds. Mio shrugs and shoves her off. Ritsu is stubborn.

Eleven year old Ritsu doesn't know how to be aware of others, but she knows when to apologise.

4.

"How about this?"

Mio looks over where Ritsu is pointing at. Yellow, white and black phones look back at her. "Are these DOCOMO phones?" Mio asks.

Ritsu nods. "Uh huh. The latest models."

Mio looks closer to read the signs. "Ah, these are the ones? I'll get the white D902i then."

"Okay, I'll take its yellow." Ritsu sees Mio's face contort in confusion. "What?"

"You're getting the same model?"

"The others don't have an mp3 player!"

"Right. So if I choose the N902i instead," Mio says, pointing at the yellow gadget, "would you still take that?"

Ritsu twists her mouth. "What's your point?"

"We don't always have to get the same thing, you know."

"It's not like I'm choosing the same colour as you."

"That's not really the point."

Ritsu figures the expression she's pulling must look pretty pitiful, because Mio soon buckles. "Let's go pay then."

Ritsu skips along Mio's side. Her cheerful demeanour is crushed when the salesperson declares regretfully, "My deepest apologies, but the yellow models are currently unavailable. Would a white or black one do?"

Ritsu creases over and hides her despair. Feeling Mio's eyes on her, she straightens up and says, "A black one will do." And she knows what Mio is thinking. She isn't quite fond of black. It looks so depressing.

"So it's two D902i phones. One white and the other black."

The two girls give their words of affirmation. The salesperson gives a big, blank smile and finalises their order. They leave the store with Ritsu holding the bag, for she has accepted it as soon it is given.

"Ritsu."

"Don't start, Mio."

"Can we go to that shop we just passed?"

Ritsu clutches the bag closer to her ribs and turns. "What?" She sees the store Mio is pointing at. "Oh. Yeah, sure."

They enter the shop and Ritsu strides in strongly. Mio doesn't follow. She stops at the first stand and Ritsu backtracks. "Whatcha looking at?" Ritsu asks.

Mio shows her a tiny, greenish blob of an animal wearing a red hat and strap. "What do you think?"

Ritsu pokes it, making it spin on its head. Upside down. "Looks cute," she says. She then looks at the rest of the phone straps. "Why?"

"I'm going to buy it."

"So why did you want my opinion?"

"Because it's for you, dummy."

Ritsu looks back. Mio looks away and continues, sounding less sure, "Um, unless you don't want it, then—"

"No no, I want it." Ritsu goes back to looking at the straps. "Uh, thanks."

She hears Mio leave for the register. She scans the tiny items until one catches her eye. There's one that is bigger than the others, so she snatches it off from its hook and joins with Mio.

She sees Mio glance at the item she has placed on the register table. But there's no comment. That is, until they are outside and Ritsu shows it in an outstretched hand.

"This is yours," Ritsu declares.

Mio continues to look at her hand. Another few seconds pass, forcing Ritsu to look as well. The strap looks more like a bracelet than anything. Then, Ritsu finally realises. It's pink. Maybe that's the problem?

"Um," Mio finally says, "Sorry, it's just. It looks a bit … childish."

Ritsu searches for a quick reason. "We're graduating soon, aren't we?" she says, knowing that the topic carries many burdens. "It'll make you feel young."

Ritsu looks up and sees she's being stared at. There's a smile and the strap leaves Ritsu's hand.

"Thank you, Ritsu."

5.

Ritsu's scared to speak up.

Mio's killing her hand. She's been killing it slowly ever since they passed the entrance of Sakuragaoka Senior High School. She's not even using her left. But Ritsu knows for sure that her own left is dying.

Ritsu distracts herself. She ponders over what would've happened to the group of girls, who teased Mio just a few months prior, if she hadn't made it on time. She ponders over what kind of food Ms Akiyama has prepared for them when they return. She ponders over—

Ritsu's left hand dies a bit more. She snaps out of her thoughts and stares straight ahead. They've made it to the acceptance lists. She quickly looks for Mio's name and finally speaks up.

"You're in Mio."

Ritsu's hand is still complaining so she speaks louder. "You made it, Mio!"

"I can't find your name."

Ritsu turns her head. "Huh?"

"I can't find…." Ritsu's hand grows numb. Mio faces her and her eyes are bright with tears. "We made it," she whispers.

"See? I told you so."

Mio lifts her hands to her face to wipe at her eyes. Ritsu flexes her hand and is glad that it's still alive. She looks around. Girls are hugging each other and crying, and she feels a bit awkward just standing there.

"I'm so glad," is another whisper.

Ritsu looks back at Mio. She rests a hand on Mio's shoulder, the fully functional one, and clumsily pulls her in for a hug. Mio only stiffens up slightly.

"I'm so glad."

6.

"Damnit."

Ritsu forlornly looks up to the dark sky. She can't wait for the rainy season to pass and she wishes for the days to hurry up. She wants to celebrate her birthday soon.

"You forgot your umbrella, didn't you?"

Ritsu jumps. She didn't hear Mio's footsteps behind her. She grabbles for an excuse as she turns around.

Mio sighs. "Good thing I remember. Let's just use mine."

Ritsu's mouth closes with a snap and she looks at the umbrella Mio is holding. It's meant for only one person. She's going to get wet anyway.

"If only we weren't wearing our uniforms," Ritsu grumbles, "we could just walk in the rain."

"It's never just a walk for you," Mio says, walking out of the building to open the umbrella. "You always stay out for hours and end up sick."

Ritsu stays back, waiting for Mio to impatiently beckon her over. She does. Ritsu runs and tackles her with a side hug.

"Ritsu! You nearly made me fall!"

"But you didn't so cheer up."

They walk into the rain. "Let go of me."

"If I let go of you I'll get wet!"

Ritsu looks down and tries to watch out for any puddles. Despite her vigilance, her white socks soon turn dark, clinging to her legs. She ignores the nasty, moist feeling in her shoes and holds Mio tighter, feeling her shudder whenever they encounter a worm. Ritsu looks up. Her side is wet and the umbrella is leaning over to Mio's side.

"Hey Mio, hold the umbrella properly!" Ritsu looks across. She almost stops walking.

Mio faces away. "We're nearly there so walk properly will you?"

"Then hold the umbrella properly."

Mio blindly pushes the umbrella into Ritsu's hands. "Then you hold it!"

Mio drops the handle before Ritsu can grab it. The umbrella falls to the ground and rain is upon them.

"Why didn't you take it?" Mio screeches.

Ritsu ignores her and looks ahead. The station is just twenty metres away. Good. She snatches the umbrella and Mio's hand and runs.

"Ritsu!"

"Just run!"

"It's slippery!"

When they reach shelter, Ritsu drops the umbrella and eyes Mio from head to toe. She's soaked through and her cheeks are flushed from exertion. Ritsu wonders if the walk was also weary for her. "You okay?" she asks.

"Yeah. I think."

Ritsu watches as Mio steps aside, avoiding strangers' eyes, to peel off her sweater. She watches as Mio turns and wrings the drenched clothing.

Despite the cool rain and the biting wind, Ritsu grows warm as she continues to watch. Watches Mio pull the sweater back over her head with great difficulty. Watches how the white shirt reveals Mio's bra and how cold she is. She lets her eyes linger a bit longer before she forces them away.

"Ritsu."

"Yeah?"

"Do you have any clothes in your bag?"

"Huh? No. Why, are you cold?" Ritsu instantly regrets her choice of words. Her eyes are drawn back to Mio.

"No." Mio's chest trembles as she takes a breath. "It's just … oh geez! You're so forgetful aren't you?"

Ritsu tilts up her head. Mio's face is redder than before. "Huh?"

Somehow, the red deepens. "Just look at yourself."

For a moment, Ritsu panics. But Mio continues to speak, "I can't believe you forgot to…."

_Forgot?_ Ritsu looks at herself, and finally figures it out. She curses and crosses her arms. She then flips her bag off her shoulder, ripping it open.

She thanks the gods and her mother when she finds her own sweater, neatly folded, near the bottom. She pulls it out and pushes it down to her waist.

Mio is quiet throughout the train ride. Although Ritsu is glad for that because it makes the humiliation die so much quicker, when they start walking again and she's still quiet, Ritsu has had enough. "Talk or something!"

Mio looks at her as if she just realised she is there. Ritsu almost regrets breaking the silence but trudges on. "You can even laugh if you want."

"Why?"

Ritsu feels really childish now. "Because."

"Because…?"

"It's just, it wouldn't make a difference if I wore one anyway. Yet…." Ritsu trails off and mucks up her hair. "Ugh."

"It does make a difference, actually," is the quiet reply.

"How? I'm flat."

"No you're not."

Abrupt silence.

Ritsu doesn't dare look at Mio, and she's pretty sure she's doing the same with her.

"You actually look?" is something Ritsu would've liked to say. But she figures there are enough awkward moments between the two of them today.

7.

"I see how your hairstyle really suits you."

Ritsu clutches the creased paper. The words she's reading aloud miss the rough treatment.

"But I also want to see the casual you."

It's been a year since she received these words. Innocently found in her mailbox. Innocently and just lyrics.

Sure, she has said they were no good. But there's a reason.

These words. They feel too personal. Ritsu wants to believe they were written not for the general public but for her. Just her.

She reads again. This time she replaces the pronouns and imagines Mio saying them. She imagines Mio saying these words and more.

"These winter days, despite how cold they are, make me happy.

"I see you run, and your white huffs of breath."

Choking, she scrunches up the paper and throws it across the room. It will be later collected with a given up heart.

"I'm not in love with her," she whispers.

_Then stop reading these terrible lyrics,_ her mind reasons.

"She gave them to me."

_For your professional opinion._

"She gave them to me."

Her mind throws its arms in the air. _Fine! You're in love with her. Accept it._

"She's a girl."

_You're still in love with her._

"She has boobs."

_That you stare at all the _freaking_ time._

Ritsu throws a pillow towards the direction of the lyrics.

_You know she looks at you a lot._

Ritsu stops and stares at the ceiling. She waits. Her patience is rewarded.

_Just tell her how you feel. Leave it out in the open._

"And what if she doesn't feel the same?"

_You'll stay friends._

That's when Ritsu stops listening. The cycle repeats for the rest of the week. By Friday, she explodes, "Okay! I'll tell her! I'll tell her on her birthday."

_Good_, her mind says. It finally leaves her alone.

But Ritsu's forgotten that entrance exams exist. And they come for Mio before her.

Ritsu waits it out. She waits for Mio's weeks of hell to finish. _What a time to turn 18 in_, Ritsu thinks.

The hellish weeks pass. Ritsu still waits.

It's when she's about to experience those weeks herself does she act.

She stands outside the Akiyama residence and knocks. Mio opens the door. She's muttering about stress and dark circles are slapped onto her eyes, resisting recovery.

Ritsu forgets what she's supposed to do. She raises her voice, enters the house despite Mio's protests and makes a general, mental ruckus of things, offering Mio a reprieve. It's eventually accepted with a smile.

Ritsu is being a good friend.

Just a friend.

8.

"You're going to Tokyo uni?"

Mio eyes the floor. Ritsu feels her insides clench further. _Why not Kyoto?_ she harshly thinks. But she knows why. She isn't stupid. And as much as she wants to be immature about it, Mio's hurting a lot more than her. She's the only one of the four that's going to a university in another region.

Ritsu breathes silently. She pats Mio on the shoulder. "That's great Mio!"

"Ritsu." She sounds so tired. "You don't need to pretend."

"I'm seriously proud of you Mio."

"Stop it!"

Ritsu jerks back. "Sorry."

"No." Regret is lacing with the tiredness now. "No, I'm the one that should apologise. I … I'd even said I didn't want us to separate. Us four."

Ritsu pretends there's an afterthought there. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. We're really lucky we went to the same schools 'til now."

"I wish I was luckier," is the whispered reply.

Ritsu leans in to hear it clearer. "What?"

Mio looks up and watches her. She seems to be closer. Ritsu can even feel her breathe.

"I wish…."

For a short, terrifying, longing moment, Ritsu thinks she's going to be kissed.

She doesn't. She's blanketed with warmth. Mio places her head on Ritsu's shoulder. Her arms are on her back, pulling her.

"Mio?"

"Can I hug you, for a while?"

"Huh? Of course you can."

Ritsu rests her arms on Mio's back. _It feels strange_, Ritsu thinks, _to be the one hugged_. She's also surprised, for Mio's hold is strong and sure.

"We'll call each other," Ritsu comforts. Her shoulder hurts from the answered nod.

"Every week," she adds. It hurts again.

"I," Ritsu starts, needing to tell. But she doesn't want the hug to end. So she says another truth, "I'm going to miss you."

There's no more hurt. Instead, she hears an actual reply. But it's so quiet. It also doesn't make sense, and Ritsu half-wonders why this feels like goodbye.

9.

"Hey."

"Hi Ritsu."

As promised, they call each other every week. And, every week, Ritsu manages to convince herself to not utter the unuttered truth. Although the frequency of the calls goes downhill whenever it's exam period, like a parabola, it returns.

Now, during summer break, Ritsu's at their favourite café and Mio has finally arrived back home.

"You look well," Ritsu says.

Mio smiles. "You look well too."

Ritsu's heart flutters and she suddenly feels four years younger. "Uh, so why don't you sit?"

Mio takes the chair across from her and settles down, flipping her hair to the front.

The notion reminds Ritsu. "You really did cut it."

"Hm?"

Ritsu reaches across and runs her hand through Mio's hair. It just reaches below her collarbones.

"I did say I did," Mio clarifies, almost embarrassed.

Ritsu smiles. "It really suits you."

Mio gives her a strange look. She glances at the time on her wrist. "How long did you wait?"

"Not long." _Too long._

"That's good."

"Yeah." _It wasn't._

"Have you eaten breakfast yet?"

"No," Ritsu says truthfully. Before Mio's arrival, she's been suffering a weird fit of jitters. She was afraid she'd vomit if she did eat.

"Huh? That's not like you. Please don't tell me you're dieting."

"Like you're one to talk."

"I stopped, thank you very much."

"Good. You look great like that."

Mio blinks at her. "Ah, thank you. I should go order something." She stands up and does just that.

Ritsu breathes out and shakes off her nerves. _Damnit woman,_ Ritsu berates herself,_ you're nearly an adult. Act like one._

She looks for Mio and instantly spots her. She watches as Mio pulls out her purse and pays. After the server has accepted her money, Mio looks over her shoulder. She glances back, and then returns to their table.

"What did you get?" Ritsu asks.

"Chocolate cake and coffee."

"You drink coffee? I thought you hated it."

"I got used to it. Aren't you getting anything?"

"Uh … I want a cake myself but I can't be bothered."

Mio grins. "Good. I got you one."

Ritsu straightens up. "Really? ! Aww thanks! I love you."

Mio stares. Ritsu doesn't fidget and looks up just as the waiter serves them. They take a bite of their cake, tasting and swallowing. And then it finally hits Ritsu. She splutters. Mio's head snaps up, and it's as if she just punched her in the stomach. "Ate too fast," Ritsu explains. She throws in a few good coughs whilst she's at it.

"You really haven't changed."

"And you have?"

"I might've."

"Uh huh."

"What do you want to do next?"

"We can shop around."

"Alright."

After four hours of trying various outfits and a bag at each hand, the two stumble pass a purikura.

"Let's take one?" Mio suggests.

"Sure."

They rummage for change. There's enough.

Inside the little box, Ritsu feels their junior high days wash over her. Except during those days, it's always her that has to wrap her arm around the other. So there are no awkward spaces in between them, imprinted forever.

Now, Mio's hand is on Ritsu's shoulder like how hers is on Mio's. She feels giddy and poses with a stupid looking grin. Mio laughs. Last picture and Ritsu's hand slides down till it's at Mio's waist. The camera clicks. Ritsu leans forward and waits for the picture preview.

"Please go outside for your photos," the machine instructs.

Ritsu wraps her arms around Mio and nudges her out of the booth. Mio continues to laugh and stumbles.

"Should we decorate them?" Mio asks as they hover over the touch screen outside.

Ritsu hums in thought. She watches the countdown and decides. "It's better if we don't. I want them like that."

"Same."

They both reach out for the finish button. Ritsu is quicker so Mio's hand lands on hers. It stays there.

"Mio?"

The hand pulls away and there's an apology. Ritsu kicks herself. Mentally.

"You don't need to say sorry, you know."

Mio looks over her shoulder.

Ritsu stares. She sees the proximity and lowers her eyes just slightly. Mio's lips. She wants to taste them, terribly.

Mio looks back at the screen. The machine gurgles and spits and Ritsu steps back. She picks up the photo.

"There aren't any scissors here," Mio says.

Ritsu passes the photo sheet to Mio. "You can cut them up after."

They both know Ritsu can't cut straight so Mio accepts it. "True."

They make their way home, clinging and retelling childhood stories. They forget the photo indefinitely.

10.

"Hi Ritsu."

Ritsu smiles and grips the phone tighter. "Hey Mio. Why the sudden call?"

"How come I have to answer that? I never ask you that when you make one of your spontaneous calls."

"That's because I instantly tell you why I'm calling you. So tell me, what's up?"

Mio speaks again, and it all falls into place. It's exam stress. Mio continues to abhor these times and needed someone to rant with. But she has her pride. She doesn't want her fellow classmates to see this part of her.

"Christmas is coming soon," Mio suddenly remarks.

"Yeah. So fast, huh?" Ritsu adds. Secretly she's wondering how the last few months lagged on at the most inconvenient times. "I'm seeing couples everywhere."

"Well it's always like this around this time."

"Yeah, so many mixers and that. Hey, we should go to one in the weekends. I heard there are free food and drinks."

"Um, I can't."

"Huh. Why? Don't you lie that you don't drink and—"

"That's not it." There's a soft intake of breath at the other line. "I don't—how do you say this?—exactly fit the requirements to attend."

Ritsu reads over Mio's words. "Aren't you single?" she asks without thinking.

"No," is the shy reply.

"What?" Ritsu coughs out. She then realises Mio's not joking and thinks quickly. "Oh, congratulations? Sorry, dunno how you can, you know, reply to that." She would've continued her rambling if Mio didn't cut in.

"Actually, I don't know what to say when people tell me that. It's not something achievable or … do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah I know."

She tries to remember the mandatory questions a best friend usually asks. She catches one, carefully constructs it and throws it at Mio. It quickly breaks. "How long? You know, you two. Together."

"Five months."

Ritsu tries not to breathe, holding in the hurt. "How come you…."

"You know how bad I am in sharing personal details, Ritsu."

She's forgotten that. "Oh, yeah." There's a pause to recall again. "So how did you two meet?"

"Um, we met on the first day of the semester."

Ritsu numbs herself. "What? Really? Took a while for either of you to confess or something?"

"Something like that … can't we talk about something else? It's embarrassing."

"Yeah, sure," Ritsu replies, and she hopes it didn't sound too grateful. Or choked.

When the call ends, the silent tears have long dried. Ritsu flexes her neck and lets the black phone roll away from her hands. She looks at the window and the sky, where a black monster with a white heart lives. She watches.

Ritsu watches over eight memories.

She closes her eyes and another memory is added. She only misses this one when she dreams with her eyes open. For it never existed.

ooooo

_End of chapter_

**A/N:** *ducks from thrown tomatoes* Hey, I'd never said—*ducks*—in the beginning it would—*ducks*—end as Mitsu. *gets shot instead*

*gets back up* I disclaim the lyrics at the start. It's from _One Last Time_ by Bonnie Pink. I also stole the fic title from her.

Anyway, don't worry. When I update Arpeggio after this, it should, assumingly, cheer you guys up.

Interesting note when I was Wikipedia-ing: Hikasa Youko (Mio's voice actress) is listed, along with several other notable people, as a rain woman. I found this after I finished that particular section of this fic, BTW. What a coincidence. Oh, and I don't particularly know what a rain woman/man does. Their presence brings rain? They can bring rain if they wanted to? Yeah, dunno.

**Other notes (?):**  
— No idea if Japanese kids play their cards like that. Pretend the kids in here do.  
— Yes, I actually searched up their damn phone models. So I just realised they're _slide_ phones. Not flip ones. *headdesk* Well, the ones in the anime.  
— Lyricists usually use the _boku_ (I) and _kimi_ (you) pronouns. Mio uses _watashi_ and _omae_ respectively when she speaks. No wonder Ritsu thought a boy wrote them. lol  
— It seems to be a custom or something for Japanese girls to cut their hair after a broken heart.  
— **EDIT**: The manga chapter where the four aim for Japan Women's University is ignored. I mostly follow what the anime lays out. And the anime has them in Kyoto. Whilst in the manga, they're in the middle of nowhere in Japan. Thanks for the heads up anonymous. :3

EDIT: Decided that I was being too cruel in tricking a few of you with the genre. I've now fixed it.


	2. Yang

.

._  
_

_Snarl in the dusk everyday to carry on  
Living in the past is not the way to live  
But I wish you could hear me say  
That I miss you_

1.

Mio mourns over the many various forms of bullying.

The bully is shorter than her, but her spirit is strong and frightening. It's a spirit that could kill if it was to take over her shell.

This particular bully seems to like her hair.

"Can I touch it?"

Mio fears her to be contagious. So she stands and blindly looks for the exit.

She concentrates on her tears and lack of voice.

2.

Ritsu will usually play with the boys. But gradually, she leaves their football matches, card games and hunts for tiny critters. She gradually joins Mio's idea of fun.

It involves cart wheeling, some tag, and a whole lot of gossip.

By third year, Mio has given up in reading books during lunchtime. Ritsu's spirit must be contagious after all. Girls will often pull her out of the classroom and into the playground. Where cracked concrete and itchy grass stare at her.

Mio watches as Ritsu falls on her backside, huffing.

"C'mon Mio-chan," she says, "Join us."

"It looks tiring, Ricchan."

"That's the point."

Mio's mind tries to process said point. "It is?"

"Yeah! You're cold right?"

Mio can't deny that she isn't shivering. She nods.

"Well if you play with us, you'll feel warmer."

Mio likes warmth. So she smiles and gives in. "Okay."

Ritsu throws her a grin and a pat. Then she takes off. She leaves behind an announcement.

"You're it!"

Mio's smile disperses. Shaking her head, she follows the shorter girl. She must be exhausted by now, judging by how much she's breathing.

Just as Mio has caught up to Ritsu, Ritsu seems to instantly grow.

There's a disturbing, grating sound.

Mio opens her eyes, not realising she has closed them. She glances down. On each of her knees, there's a mixture of pale dust and watery red.

Mio twists her mouth, trying not to scream. Something wet gathers at her chin.

"Mio-chan?" Ritsu's voice. It's the softest she's ever heard from her.

There's a collection of murmurs. The other girls have arrived.

"Mio-chan! Are you okay?"

"She's crying, stupid. Of course she isn't."

"You shouldn't swear."

"I wasn't swearing."

Mio sits still, in pain, humiliation and fear.

A pair of hands grabs hers. And she's guided off the callous concrete.

After the murmurs have died, Mio looks up. She sniffs and asks, "Where are we going, Ricchan?"

Ritsu doesn't answer. The appearance of the water bubblers did.

"No!" Mio squeaks.

Ritsu turns around. She looks odd without a grin. "You need to, Mio-chan."

"It … it already hurts." Mio's voice is shivering. "It's going to hurt more."

"It won't sting, Mio-chan."

A fresh wave of sobs attack Mio. "It will!"

"I promise it won't sting." Mio looks up and watches Ritsu's face. It's determined and strange. "I promise, Mio-chan. I promise it won't sting."

So Mio trudges after Ritsu, trusting her.

And it stings. A lot.

Ritsu touches the bandaids onto Mio's knees.

There's a pause filled with several, silent sentences. It ends not with a dot but with a sniffle.

Mio watches the tears on Ritsu's cheeks.

"I'm sorry Mio-chan," the girl chokes out, giving a cloud of warmth.

Mio's too silenced to accept the apology.

She continues to watch the little girl who fell countless times and never cried. That is, until now. No blood is on her. Just a lot of guilt, and the honesty of a liar.

Ritsu roughly rubs her eyes. It looks painful so Mio moves closer to her. Carefully. She hopes the tears to stop soon. She feels bad just looking at them.

Ritsu seems to make everything contagious.

3.

Mio recites the first several pages of her favourite story. Without speaking.

The pattering on the windows and walls weave between dissonant mutters and murmurs. It's cold, and Mio pulls her legs in for warmth. She needs to stifle the loud shivering of her bones.

The door slams open. Mio jumps but doesn't look up. Her head hides in between her knees.

"Mio-chan?"

She finally looks up.

_Ricchan_, she thinks.

Ritsu flings the door shut and Mio ducks from the harsh sound. "You're not wet, huh?" Ritsu asks.

Mio shakes her head.

Ritsu mimics, splattering water everywhere. Mio squeaks and scoots away. "W-what are you doing? Ricchan!"

The soaked brunette gives a doglike grin. "Now you talk."

Mio pouts and faces away.

"Hey," Ritsu says, "don't do that."

"Ricchan's a bully."

"I'm not a bully!"

Mio's reply is interrupted by thunder. The little shed shakes and Mio crumbles into a small ball.

"Stop screaming!"

Mio raises her head. Ritsu's hands are on her ears and glaring at her.

"I … I think I'm deaf," Ritsu says, grimacing.

"You're not," Mio murmurs. In afterthought, she adds, "I'm sorry."

Ritsu doesn't seem to hear the apology. "How do you know?"

"I can still understand you. Perfectly. It's hard to talk when you're deaf."

"Oh." She then sits next to Mio. "Brrr … it's cold here."

Mio tries to move away. She doesn't get far, fearing she'll offend the drenched girl.

Ritsu flaps the hem of her shirt, sending water flying.

Mio cringes. "You should squeeze it out, not shake it off."

"Huh?" Ritsu stops and faces her. "Oh. Oh, yeah. Thanks Mio-chan." She proceeds to peel off the shirt. Finding it difficult to do such a thing whilst sitting down, she stands up.

The shed shakes again. Mio goes back to hiding her head amongst her knees. This time, her mouth is firmly closed. She shudders at the sheer force of it.

"When is it gonna stop raining?" Ritsu grumbles.

"I don't know…."

"If we're gonna stay here for hours I'll freeze!"

Mio lifts her head again. "How are you going—" Ritsu is naked besides her underwear. "—where are your clothes? !"

Ritsu points at the floor, where a wrinkled shirt and shorts lay. "They feel kinda itchy," she explains.

"You're going to freeze, Ricchan."

"I just said that." She sits next to Mio again and pulls her legs in. Mio doesn't move away. "Hey Mio-chan, give me your hands. You can warm me up."

"Um…." Mio frees her arms and dangles them in the air between them. "How?"

Ritsu moves closer. She grabs the arms and wraps them around her.

After the next thunder, Ritsu says, "Mio-chan, I'm still cold."

Mio's arms are growing numb. But she still giggles. "I'm not a blanket, Ricchan."

"I wanna sleep now."

Mio panics. "Don't!"

"Huh?"

"You can't sleep when there's a storm."

"Why?"

"The Thunder Beast might hide in your belly button."

"…You actually believe that?"

Mio flushes. "My dad told me it's true! He sleeps on his stomach whenever there's a storm!"

Ritsu laughs. "Okay okay, don't get mad at me." She rests a hand on her navel. "There. I can sleep now, right?"

Mio looks at the hand. She makes sure she can't see any hints of a small circle. "Yup."

Ritsu nods off.

Mio moves her hands around for vital positioning. She then closes her eyes.

Her fear naps.

4.

Mio's hair is being tangled by Ritsu's fingers.

There's another shot of pain. Mio bats off Ritsu's hands and faces her. "Do you know how to braid?"

"Teach me then."

Mio's forehead wrinkles. But there's a smile. She gathers a thick lock of hair with one hand. She guides Ritsu with the other. "First," she says patiently, "split them into three parts."

Ritsu follows, and Mio continues. The work is clumsy but it leaves a somewhat successful result: A chunky braid that looks as if it could splinter you.

Ritsu laughs and strokes the hair back into its original state. Softly and painlessly. She tries again.

"Oh, is Ricchan learning how to braid?"

Mio looks up. "Oh, hi Taro-kun. And yeah."

She looks back at Ritsu. She's concentrating so hard that she doesn't hear her name. Another braid is spun. Ritsu leaves it alone and separates another cluster of hair. She then looks up.

"Oh, hey! What are you doing here?"

Taro squats down, for he is the only one not in a chair. "Just want to talk with you two. You can go back to your braiding."

Ritsu gladly does so.

Mio reads the boy. "Were you teased…?"

Taro gives an evasive look. "How did you know?" He answers his own rhetoric with another. "My eyes are red, aren't they?"

Mio smiles, feeling embarrassed for him. She glances at Ritsu. She's up to the third braid. And Mio's getting a bit sleepy from the hair playing.

"You two sure are close," Taro softly remarks.

Mio's eyelids droop. She tunes out from the conversation. Suddenly, the soothing strokes stop. And Ritsu's yelling.

"We're not like that!"

Mio looks back at reality. A shadow's on her. Taro's stepping back and waving his hands in desperate correction. "I'm not saying that—"

"Yes you did," Ritsu cuts off. Her voice is impulsive.

"Ritsu," Mio starts. "What's going on?"

Ritsu ignores her. She's focusing on Taro. She delivers her final attack.

"I'm not like you!"

The boy avoids the sharp words. "I … I'd better go." A pause. He then says this to the door, "See you Mio-chan."

Mio watches Taro's erstwhile spot. She turns to Ritsu. "What did he say?" She's starting to get a vague idea. But she needs clarification.

Ritsu gives her a strange look. She doesn't answer.

There's a reason why Taro gets bullied.

5.

Mio gets more and more frightened with each passing day.

She's always been a bit prideful in having self-control. She makes sure she consumes only a slice of cake each fortnight. She makes sure she doesn't explode whenever Ritsu teases her. She makes sure she thinks before she speaks. And there's a lot more.

Her human eyes are not in the list.

She finds herself staring at the most inappropriate times. You don't stare at your friend when they're changing. Or when they're wearing nothing.

When her 14th summer arrives, Mio finds her eyes are not alone.

"Aaagh," Ritsu moans, "I can't wait for summer break."

Mio focuses her eyes. At her book.

"Hey Mio, are you going anywhere?"

"I think so."

Mio doesn't actually have any plans. But that answer should serve. It could even serve as the foundations for a lie.

Mio's book is snatched away. And her eyes return to Ritsu. She's wearing a grin, a stolen book and an unbuttoned shirt.

"Give me my book back," Mio says to her feet.

"There aren't any books on the floor, Mio."

"I'm serious Ritsu. Give it back."

"Then look at me when you say it."

Mio repeats her plea. She only makes it half-way.

"You don't need to be shy with me, you know." Ritsu's pulling the false hurt tactic again.

This time, Mio falls for it.

She lifts her head. With her eyes closed. She makes sure she can visualise Ritsu's face, and only Ritsu's face, behind her eyelids. She then opens them. She does all of this quickly and without mistakes.

"See?" Ritsu says, still grinning. "Now what did you want?"

This is where Mio makes her first mistake.

She searches for the book and she ends up staring.

Her second mistake: her hand soon reaches out.

Then she thinks and her fist is wedged in Ritsu's shoulder.

"Hey! What was that for? !"

_What _was _that for?_ Mio thinks.

The book exchanges hands.

The brunette gives an apology and a whine at the same time. "Didn't know you had that much power," she mutters in addition.

"I did tell you to give it back," Mio mumbles.

"Hey Mio."

Mio grudgingly looks up.

"Why don't you kiss it to make it better?"

Mio smacks her again.

It becomes a habit.

6.

Mio writes a letter. It's a letter that will never find its recipient. Nor can it be returned to its sender. It only contains words. Important words Mio would like to remain unuttered. Because she can afford the paper to be burnt if found.

She hears hasty, rhythmic feet on the wooden stairs. So she creases the letter, and she shoves it inside a book. It's a book that is hung on her shelf, for Ritsu likes to leave dead things alone.

As soon as she steps away from the paper graveyard, the door slams open. Mio doesn't flinch. Her mouth does when she's offered a grin.

Ritsu then fills Mio's day with frustration and laughter.

Perfectly normal.

What isn't normal is that Ritsu is extremely touchy today. Mio often has to shrink away. She fears the drumming in her chest will be heard, for Ritsu is quick with jealously.

Then the final act of balance, they delve into the future after some school gossip. Ritsu pulls Mio close, not letting her escape.

"We've promised we'll go to the same university. Us four." She then says with utter seriousness, "I want you in my life, okay, Mio?"

Mio holds her breath.

She waits.

"Because you're my best friend."

There's another squeeze on her arm before it's gone. The wooden footsteps return.

Contrary to popular belief, those words could easily kill a girl.

7.

There's an offer to Tokyo University. Mio accepts it. Distance is something she needs.

Ritsu's reaction is not what she expected. She almost prefers the screaming option. Because it's Mio that has broken something this time, not Ritsu.

All the pent up tension ebbs away. They're not needed anymore and it leaves Mio exhausted.

She weakly apologises.

Ritsu claims they're lucky. But Mio disagrees. Ritsu doesn't understand. So Mio falls forward, half-needing to explain and half-wanting just to sit there and stare at Ritsu's mouth.

_"You're my best friend."_

She breaks into a hug.

A hug should suffice. A hug shouldn't be suspicious. Even a long one.

Let her be greedy for once.

"Mio." There's a pause and Mio waits. "I'm going to miss you."

Mio doesn't need that. She doesn't want that at all.

She breathes out and wishes.

"You shouldn't."

8.

Mio pulls out a thin, battered book. She thumbs through its pages. The book splits open, revealing the creased letter.

She takes the letter and pushes the book back to its dusty home. She procures a pair of scissors and cuts the paper into pieces. Later, her father's ashtray will contain black scraps.

There's a visit to the hairdresser.

_"You have such pretty hair!"_

She cuts it.

Her footsteps sound lighter.

Unrecognisable.

9.

Mio stands across from the café. She's frightened.

Her hands are clammy and her heart is being traitorously fast.

She checks the time. She's supposed to be inside the café thirty thousand heart beats ago. So she enters the building, and her eyes, her heart's co-conspirators, find Ritsu quickly. Her feet move on without her consent.

Ritsu's picking at her fingers on the table. Mio's feet keep moving. Ritsu's head snaps up.

They exchange greetings.

Ritsu then grins. "You look well."

Mio's heart calms. She smiles. "You look well too."

"Uh, so why don't you sit?"

Mio does.

"You really did cut it," Ritsu says suddenly.

"Hm?" Mio's heart stays calm. Her mind races.

_Did she notice?_ Mio wonders.

Did Ritsu notice the cut ties?

Ritsu reaches for her. Mio's hair moves and caresses her shoulders.

_Oh._ "I did say I did."

"It really suits you."

Mio dismisses the familiar words. She glances away from the strange look Ritsu is giving her. "How long did you wait?"

"Not long."

So she's right about Ritsu's unpunctuality. "That's good."

"Yeah."

Ritsu is looking a bit pale, so she asks, "Have you eaten breakfast yet?"

"No."

"Huh? That's not like you. Please don't tell me you're dieting."

"Like you're one to talk."

"I stopped, thank you very much."

"Good. You look great like that."

Mio blinks. "Ah, thank you. I should go order something." She stands up and takes a break.

She needs coffee right now, and something to beat the whiteness off Ritsu's image.

For a while, everything goes by normally. Until Mio reveals Ritsu's having a chocolate cake.

Ritsu's declaration of love for food.

Mio stares at it.

Ritsu makes those words so simple to say. So unlike her lover who speaks them with such honesty and care. And although Mio herself has gotten better with audible words of love, she envies Ritsu. Because she's simple and harmless. Because she hasn't changed.

"What do you want to do next?" Mio asks.

"We can shop around."

They shop. They try on clothes, not facades. Assumingly.

From time to time, Mio wonders if the coffee is actually working. All of a sudden, she's seeing Tokyo, not Kyoto.

"Mio."

She spins around and unexpectedly sees Ritsu.

She isn't in Tokyo.

"Oh," Mio says, trying to focus on the immediate present, "what is it?"

"What's next? There's some time before our train comes."

Mio scans the non-Tokyo shops. She spots a purikura. Pointing at it, she makes the suggestion.

Ritsu quickly slots in the change.

They pose, and the little box creates more memories. Mio is surprised that she doesn't mind. She even laughs.

But there are arms around her. On her shoulder. On her waist. And those arms are dangerously warm.

"Should we decorate them?" Mio asks, distracting herself.

There's a familiar hum. The arms tighten around her, almost possessively.

Mio's heart goes back to being traitorous.

"It's better if we don't. I want them like that."

"Same," Mio agrees hastily, reaching for the screen. Her hand lands on Ritsu. It stays in shock.

"Mio?"

"Sorry."

"You don't need to say sorry, you know."

Mio looks over her shoulder. Ritsu's eyes are soft and serious. And for a short, frightening moment, Mio thinks she's not over her after all.

She turns away from the past. The machine comes alive and the warmth dies. Mio searches for the culprit. "There aren't any scissors here."

"You can cut them up after."

"True," she replies. But she doesn't cut them.

She can't.

You can't cut the same strings twice.

10.

"Is something wrong?"

Mio blinks in the darkness. When she sees through it, she smiles. "Nothing's wrong. Why?"

There's a struggle of words. "Ever since … you came back we've been—you know." A short pause. "Not that I'm complaining of course. I'm just wondering…."

Mio doesn't break the eye contact. But she still can't stop the embarrassment. She makes a self-conscious whisper. "I missed you, is all."

Her lover smiles and gives her a light kiss. "I missed you too."

Mio leans closer to the warmth.

The warmth doesn't disappear. Nor does she expect it to.

11.

Mio brushes away eight memories.

They cling like spider webs.

ooooo

_End_

**A/N: **Uh, I'll be working on Arpeggio now. Where the two engage in spirited sex instead of angst. Hah, angst, ahaha … ha—sorry, the German side of my brain is kicking in. I'm also working on a new, happier fic where Mitsu will definitely happen (I can't write angst all week and I really want to watch that OVA!).

I'd like to thank RtDK for beta-ing and suffering through two chapters of Mio and Ritsu not being together. Please don't overdose on those anti-depressants, mate.

**Notes** (?):  
— The Japanese adore leaving out subjects/objects from their sentences. Although Ritsu's saying 'I love you' in the café, Mio hears it as 'I love it' or some other object that doesn't involve her. Because she's Mio.  
— Taro is just a random name I thought up. Any other persons you know with the name—treat it as a coincidence. No really, I'm serious. This is why politics is not my forte.


End file.
